They're putting in carpet in my library. I really liked the unfinished concrete floors, so did a lot of people. They were cool, unique, hip, urban, etc. They were also very loud when people wear clanky shoes (like I do) or wheeled book carts. It would have doubled the price to have the installation done during off hours. Libraries can't just toss money around like that. So they're doing the installation now. Problem is the glue is smelling up the whole place. I brought my lunch, but I didn't eat it. I went across the street to the cafe for a salad because I had to get out of the library and get some fresh air. This helped mildly. Something about the ventillation of our building and I swear all the fumes come rushing back to us. I have a headache (excederin didn't help) that is killing me, I'm nauseous and icky feeling. Of course I have cramps and so I started off not at full power. The people up front and in the workroom aren't as affected as us back here. We think it is the way the building air flow works. My coworker just went home. I am covering a program, but we'll see how I am doing in an hour if I stay or go. Only a few hours to five. Maybe I can tough it out. Maybe. The one woman and I are feeling it the worst because we've had the most desk time in the last two days. (This is day two of carpet installation). If work makes me sick, do I have to use sick time? (I'll never argue it, I have plenty of sick leave, I'll just use it.)

In semi-related news, I went to the doctor for an annual check up yesterday. They took my weight and height. Weight wise I lost some over the last 14 months (I was a little behind annual), not a huge amount, but some. It is good that I didn't gain or even stay the same. The last fourteen months were some of the toughest of my life busy-wise with the full time work and school and I didn't always make it to the gym, actually I was pretty bad about it. The fact that I did lose weight indicates a general change in eating habits, and if I start to add in a better control of food and more structured exercise habit, it should really start to help. I've gotten life to a controlled routine now where such things are possible and I transferred my gym membership to the gym I drive by on my way home from work and it seems to have worked as far as I feel guilty just driving by so I stop and workout. Plus they have a kickboxing class that starts just about as I get there when I get off from work. I haven't gone yet because I'm not sure I'm ready, but I will soon I hope. It looks fun.

Also at the doctor they took my height. I jokingly said, "How tall am I?" And the nurse repled: 5'6". I was shocked. My reaction went a little like this: "I'm not 5'6", I'm 5'7". I've always been 5'7" or at shortest 5'6 3/4". My sister is the one who is 5'6" and I am 5'7". Can you measure me again please?" The nurse was laughing pretty hard at this point, but she remeasured me. This time I stood up straight and tipped up my chin. I tend to slump pretty badly. I am 5'7". I guess what mom said about posture all those years is true.

I totally forgot about President's Day. I knew that the community college that I work at was closed, but it hadn't registered. It registered on Saturday night. That meant I was free to watch television, make cards, and hang out Sunday night and not do homework. Fun fun.

This weekend:
Friday - worked and relaxed and studied that evening.
Saturday - worked, and after work I changed, picked up chinese food and hung out with huckleberrycake. Theoretically we were going to watch a movie, but we never got to it. Just too much fun talking.
Sunday - church, followed by lunch with people at a yummy Mexican restaurant, then work, and then huckleberrycake came over to my parent's for dinner and we all hung out and watched Desperate Housewives and Grey's Anatomy. And I made some fun cards.

Today, I got to sleep in a little bit, though not too much with the animals I live with. I studied some, went to the gym (felt great and strangely crowded until I realized these people probably had the day off too), ran errands (two different pet stores before I found the right stuff), cleaned the turtle cage, read some for fun (well partially for fun, partially for class, actually a lot for class), and then went to my job at the public library (which is open). All in all a fairly relaxing day. It was so refreshing to actually have some extra time. I budget every moment of my life for studying, or working, or being in class. This is what two jobs and full time graduate school will do to you. I even budget out time for naps. Any time spent socializing must be budgeted. The day I didn't budget in because I forgot is like finding a hundred dollar bill in your coat pocket. (The most I've ever found in a coat pocket is a $5 bill). I am working this evening, but no one is at the public library tonight, they probably think we're closed.

Tomorrow I spending the day in Topeka for a librarian workshop. At least I don't have to drive, we checked out a minivan from the library and formed a carpool. They provide the electronic widget to pay for the toll road and a gas card.

Today at the gym, I had my ipod going on my "work-out/upbeat" playlist (and yes the ipod nano is the new toy I got that I've been having so much fun with). I was going pretty strong on the song "Barbie Girl" by Aqua. (If you don't know it, it is pretty funny). The next song to cue up was "Redneck Woman" by Gretchen Wilson. The first line of that song is, "Well, I've never been the Barbie doll type..." It made me laugh, which made the girl on the machine next to me look at me strangely. That was the most crowded I've ever seen the gym, but new years resolutions, plus it was around 6pm so prime time, all equal to a busy busy atmosphere.

There were some other funny/insightful/random/semi-important/meaningless thoughts I was going to share with you, but they've left me.

The last day I worked was the 30th (and I was sent home early for sickness). I had a shift at Junior League Resale Boutique today, which is like half work. I work the next 11 days in a row, and then I go to class in Emporia. No fun. None at all. And only one of my classes has the syllabus posted which is really irritating. I need to order text books and start prepping.

My hair desperately needs cut, it is all straggly and irritating me. Even with long hair, it is easy to tell when it is overdue for a cut.

And I have an awful cut on one of my fingers on the inside of a knucke and it hurts.

Having (kinda) thoroughly mastered the key of G and (most) all its related chords, I am moving on the key of E and a whole new set of chords on guitar.

I just saw a preview for a new movie called The Brothers Grimm. I really want to see it. I hardly ever see movies in the theatre anymore. But I really want to see this one. The only time I see movies in the theatre consistently is when I am in a relationship with someone.

I cooked rice today and royally screwed it up. I may have ruined the pan. I feel really bad. I make rice okay about half the time and the other half I really mess it up.

I'm about a week into my self-improvement project.

Working out is going well. I usually when I start a new workout project I totally kill myself the first two days and then I don't want to do anymore and just give up and quit. So I am easing back into it slowly. This is good. Of course I've been sick the last few days and that hasn't helped. Diet is going poorly. And tomorrow we're having a staff retreat and staff potluck with lots of goodies so that won't help. Prayer is probably going the best, but I missed this last weekend.

I finished up summer semester of school this last week. I don't think my grades are as good this semester, That could me just being paranoid, but I don't know. I should probably start ordering books and such for the next semester, but I am taking a couple of days off. I organized all my papers from the last semester and filed them. I have to do progress review (return in all your work thus far and justify your being kept in the program). I was supposed to do it this summer, but they're changing the format of it, so I was postponed until this fall. I'm not too worried, but it is that much more stress and that much more to do. I always really stress over those things, over grades, over everything. I suppose I stress too much and I'm not really sure how to stop.

I've had my kitten for almost two weeks now. (Two weeks as of thursday). I adore her. She's super friendly, very playful, loves people. She doesn't know her name is Jane Austen, doesn't know she's a kitty, she thinks she's a people. She explores everything, very nosey, sticks her triangle face into everything. And she isn't afraid of water. She doesn't love it, but it doesn't dissuade her. She jumps into the bathtub all the time and explores around the sink. She loves to sit on the sink ledge while my dad shaves. It is very funny.

On Friday I went out with some friends to celebrate Katy (buffyholic) being engaged. I'm the only one of the girls who isn't engaged or in a serious relationship. It's odd, but it is okay. Probably in middle/high school when we all met, no one would have picked me as the lsat one to be settled down. However career wise, and in so many other ways, I am really happy with the way my life is going. We had dinner. Then we went to grab drinks at this bar that is really popular. I ran into a guy from church there that had been out of the country. When I gave him a hug, I stumbled a little bit. And I was afraid he would think I was drunk (half a beer at the bar, one mixed wine drink with dinner), and not realize I am just clumsy. I talked to him for a little bit and I hope it was clear that I wasn't drunk. There's no way to explain that I stumbled because of clumsiness not an overindulgence of alcohol without seeming really neurotic. At some point I did stop to worry about why I was so worried about what he thought of me. After all what did it matter if he thought I was tipsy? I don't know. I did eventually let it go when I realized how neurotic I was being. And of course I didn't mention any of this to him.

I've always been the type to make new year's resolutions in August. That is when a new school year was starting and that always seemed the best time to reform myself. Well, right now my study habits are probably the most healthy part of my life. My diet is atrocious, my exercise routine is haphazard at best, and my spirit life is entirely group things (going to church, Bible Study, etc) and very little personal (a tiny bit of personal prayer a day). Clearly that has to change. I am fairly disgusted with myself on many fronts, the wedding is over, the newlyweds are gone, I can take time and focus on changing these things.

Fortunately there have been a conflux of events allowing me to turn many of these things around.

My Spiritually: My church has made August a special 31 days of prayer. They have nightly prayer meetings and around the clock prayer (you sign up for an hour at any time and pray from home). I probably won't make it to the prayer meetings and I didn't sign up for an hour, but I did take the August prayer guide and I am going to follow that because it has a guideline and suggestions and scripture for each day. So far it is very helpful, I am just not very good at focusing. There are many scriptures for each day, but this is the one I like most for August 1 (I'm starting a day late, I'll go a day long or double up one day):
"And we can be confident that He will listen to us whenever we ask Him for anything in line with His will. And if we know He is listening when we make our requests, we can be sure that He will give us what we ask for." 1 John 5:14-15 Some of the other scriptures talk about how He is always listening. They're all good.

My exercise: 24 hour fitness was having a special rate to join up and my family's membership at the community center (which was older and beat up and full of old people) was expired. I joined the gym and am going after I get off work (which I should be going to right now). I will sign up for a couple of classes a week and work out on my own somedays. The one near me is one of the "super sport" clubs and is huge with tons of equipment and really nice facilities and classes.

My diet: This isn't much improved today. But the day isn't over yet and I still have time to redeem myself. I am taking a banana to work for snack instead of a granola bar.

I need to go to work now. I'll keep you all updated on how I am doing. I figure it has to be at least 1/3 as interesting as anything else in my journal. We'll see if I can make it through this month. If I can make it through August, than it will be a habit and I'll have won.